Henry Bridges the 5th is one of those yacht owners who can best be described as a large as life. In fact he was larger than life – his whole frame was huge, his body told you at a glance that he had never done a days work in his life, and it was immediately apparent that he never intend to do one either. He was one of life’s great gentlemen. From the moment he grasped your hand, his many chins wobbling as he began to giggle, his laughter and infectious manner made sure you were going to like him. He was one of those yacht owners who lived his life to the full and unless he changed his ways, his very full life was probably not going to see him into the second half of his personal century. This was mostly because Henry was a party animal and one whose greatest weakness was; Spanish brandy. It arrived onboard by the truckfull and was dispatched by the case. However like many party animals Henry was also a very lonely man having never succumbed to one true love. His life without his parties was an empty shell and he would withdraw on board to a life of solitude with only his Spanish golden liquid as a friend. Sometimes he would disappear into his cabin for days on end, life on board the yacht continued as normal, his crew fully aware of what was going on but unable to help him, trays of food were left untouched outside his cabin only to be removed when our chef felt it prudent to leave him a fresh one. Then he would suddenly appear again, issue instructions to sail to another port where he would plan to throw another party. On the face of it Henry had everything - a luxury yacht, a crew to pamper him, a private unearned income that paid for it all. It was only in his melancholy moments when he sat on deck nursing his bottle staring at the horizon that you realised quite how lonely Henry was.
Henry had a habit, which used to scare the life out of me, when underway he used to sit on the ships rail at the stern, glass in one hand and bottle in the other. When underway I would visit him on the stern and beg him to get down from the rail explaining how very dangerous it was. Henry would smile his devious little smile his many chins would quiver as he gave another drunken chuckle and would slur “don’t worry Captain I am going nowhere.” That was what worried me, I knew if he ever did fall over the side we would search everywhere and he would be found nowhere.
Something else that Henry cared about was his niece Judy and nephew David, both in their late teens and every year his brother’s children would visit the yacht from America. He lead his brother to believe that in a month of cultural cruising we would visit Naples and tour the ruined city of Pompeii, anchor of Scilly and visit Taormina, drop into Grand Harbour Valetta to see how the Knights of old brought honour and Christianity to the area then move onto Crete to see Knossos and Rhodes to view the sights there. In reality however the family money had corrupted the children as well and they spent the daylight hours fast asleep and the nights in the discothèques and when they closed, they left, came back to the boat and watched movies until it was time to eat breakfast and then they went to sleep. In fact, so upside down was their world that for the month of August I would have the crew of Majestik work at night and, except for the duty watch keepers, sleep during the day, that way we were on hand to look after the simple needs of our guests. Plans to visit the ancient and historical sights slipped from the agenda with monotonous regularity. So I was somewhat surprised when we reached Turkey and Henry announced that he was to visit Ephesus and the ancient ruins there, furthermore he was going to be joined by Judy and David. Neither looked delighted with the prospect but I as the Captain was told to organise the expedition. Ephesus lies somewhat inconveniently to the north east of the island of Samos and Majestik was cruising in and out of Gotchek near Fethiye and as I began to put may plans to organise the day it was obvious to me that this was going to be a fairly lengthy trip if full benefit was going to be enjoyed. As with many ancient sights, guided tour are available and in fact unless one has a good basic knowledge of the history of the time it is often important to join a tour so as to get the most from a visit. Owners of large yachts and many chins however do not like mixing with crowds of ordinary holidaymakers and day-trippers so it befell upon me as Captain to organise a guide, not just any tour guide but a fully grown professor of antiquity who for a kings ransom would leave his university lecture hall and fly in especially to give a guided tour to the rich and famous. Then of course there would have to be a lunch and by that, I do not mean a picnic or a trip to eat quickly under the golden arches. Instead a room has to be hired, a chef flown in, flunkies brought into to dress the room and wait the table. Once made, the expansive plans were shown to Henry who glanced over them and shrugged and said “whatever, show them to the kids,” who were underwhelmed. When I told them we would need to get up at 0630 to join the chauffeured limousine I had organised to drive them there, they wailed, “that’s just around bedtime, when will we sleep?” They did not wait for my answer and were off to see Henry to moan about the lack of sensitivity the Captain had shown in arranging the trip. It did not take Henry long to call me to the sundeck aft and ask me whether it was possible to shorten the journey time. Not unless I land a seaplane alongside the boat and we take off right here and land close to Ephesus and catch a taxi for the last few miles I said, “but the seaplane will cost around 6 times the fee charged by the limousine.”
“So just do it,” said Henry.
An hour later, with new arrangements in place, I announced that the seaplane would arrive the following day at 0930 and save some 6 hours of travelling, the kids scowled at the news, Henry looked pleased but by then he had already opened his second bottle.
The next morning the kids did not even return onboard until 0830 and when I visited Henry on the aft deck I was just in time to see him pour a handsome slug of brandy into his breakfast coffee. “The kids aren’t going to make I said, the seaplane will land in 40 minutes and there will be just you and five empty seats going to Ephesus,” I said waiting for him to cancel it all then and there.
“Yeah,” he slurred, “but you and your wife are coming right?”
That was the first I had heard of the invitation but never one to turn down a private tour on a private plane with my own private guide I said “of course sir that would be great,” and ran off to get Georgina.
The plane arrived, landing alongside the yacht and taxing towards our stern. The mate brought the tender into the swim platform and I went to find Henry. “I suggest you leave the bottle here Sir,” I suggested tactfully,
“Its OK Captain, this is for Ron, later-ron” he smiled but it was already clear to me that I was not fully in the focus of his already glazed eyes, it was equally clear that I was not going to prize his beloved bottle from out of his grasp. The mate caught him as he fell into the tender, and Georgina and I made sure he did not fall out again. The pilot of the seaplane was equally unsuccessful when it came to parting Henry from his bottle and the Turkish stewardess decided it was best not to even try. So with Georgina and I sitting up front with the pilot and Henry strapped in to the seats aft as much to stop him falling over rather for his own safety. We took off flying low over Majestik and set course for our destination.
The flight was smooth and untroubled, and when we landed at 1045 it was remarkable to see how little of the first bottle was left and Henry was already fussing about the location of his hand luggage, which contained his second bottle. It was perhaps a mistake to try and get Henry to leave the plane and had I been the pilot I am not sure I would have bothered. If they had not insisted, Henry could have sat there until it was time to go home, but as it turned out, Henry only got halfway down the steps before he fell down the remaining few to hit the tarmac at roughly the same time as the bottle did and which splintered all around his prostrate form. The professor was waiting with the limousine and was clearly less than amused at the prospect of having Henry as his pupil for the day. He made little effort to support our efforts to pour him into the back seat, a task we too had to abandon once we realised quite how drunken Henry really was.
That was how Georgina and I got to see Ephesus with our own personal professor. Lunch was splendid but far too much for us to eat even after we had invited the professor and chauffeur to share it with us. Our return to the aircraft was uneventful and once back at the airport it became clear that Henry had, at some stage of our absence, became lucid enough to locate the whereabouts of bottle number 2 and it was already bearing the scars of his many attacks upon its contents. Our fight home was enjoyable for Henry, at least we think his singing throughout the journey meant that he was enjoying himself, and after all, he was paying! We landed alongside Majestik and shortly after the doors opened, our tender pulled neatly alongside the floats of the seaplane. Henry was carried to the craft and lolled in the back as we sped towards the yacht. Jackie the stewardess made no impression on Henry as she tried to help him on board and clearly he did not know what she was talking about as she tried to remind him about his appointment for a full Turkish bath at the local Haman followed by a body massage. It is, you understand, the Captains duty to ensure his owner is never compromised so rather than inconvenience the Haman that had made the special arrangements to reserve their best operatives for Henry’s appointments, I went along instead and put up with nearly two hours of steaming, scrubbing, pummelling and pampering. When I got back to the boat at around 1900 the kids had finally surfaced and were tucking into breakfast before they ventured ashore for the night. I found Henry slumped on the sun lounger beside the Jacuzzi on the main deck and enquired after his well-being.
“How was Ephesus?” he mumbled.
“Great Sir, thank you for taking us.
“Did I go?” he queried.
“Yes sir you did,” I answered without smiling,
“Great, great he said, it’s a ruin right?” he questioned.
“Yes sir,” I answered, trying hard to hide the smile.
“Like me,” he quipped “I feel ruined!”
“That’s understandable, Sir,” I said, “you did take 2 bottles with you!”
“Right, right,” he said “but I did enjoy it, didn’t I?”
“Yes sir, you certainly did, you even sung all the way home.”
“Good I am glad I enjoyed it – sure would have been a waster of ten thousand dollars”
I did not have the heart to tell him that was only the cost of the seaplane; everything else was on top of that.
